So, you’re getting married. Does the word “budget” cause fear, confusion, and tears to well up? I know the feeling; I recently got married. According to BRIDES Magazine, the average American wedding costs $20,000, so you may feel pressured to spend more than you need to. But you don’t have to spend $20,000 to have the fairy-tale wedding you’ve dreamed of since you were four.

To begin saving money, decide your wedding priorities. The Christian Wedding Planner by Muzzy and Hughes suggests that you avoid overspending by listing your priorities in order of importance: like food, location, or photography. Once you have prioritized, allocate your money accordingly. Next, use online wedding resources like TheKnot.com, WeddingChannel.com, and ModernBride.com. All have accessible articles and allow you to chat with other brides. There are also websites dedicated to area-planning by county, city, or state.

The Knot (www.TheKnot.com) is the most comprehensive resource for planning a wedding. Registration is free, and over 3,600 new members join daily. Registering allows you to search for vendors in your area, keep track of presents received, and make a wedding website. You can also keep track of RSVPs on The Knot. Reply cards for 150 guests represent more than $55 in postage, and your invitations will require less postage if you leave them out. If The Knot doesn’t suit your RSVP needs, create an email address solely for guest RSVPs. I did this and received many encouraging notes along with the replies.

The Knot suggests having your wedding any day but Saturday. It will save money—not just for the location, but for photographers, caterers, DJs, and other vendors who often charge less for non-Saturday events. Kelly Gallagher of San Diego saved $900 on her location just by getting married on a Sunday. Michelle Singletary of The Washington Post business section suggests choosing a less-frequented location like a botanical garden, historic home, or local park instead of a hotel complete with expensive catering services. Contact every picturesque place you can think of—you’ll be surprised how many offer wedding services. If a venue doesn’t provide tables and chairs, however, those rentals can add up to as much as a hotel.

Willing to forego a traditional reception dinner? The Knot suggests a late afternoon reception with hors d’oeuveres and jazz. Perhaps a brunch buffet, cocktail reception, cake and punch reception, or a late-night dessert buffet will suit your style. These involve less food and professional music expenses. We embraced the hors d’oeuveres and jazz idea by decorating our reception hall like a jazz club. We spent only about $5 per person on food, instead of the $25 a meal would cost, and friends played the jazz music free. Inviting talented friends or family to play or sing adds a personal touch, and involves more loved ones in your wedding. If you can’t afford a DJ, make a CD of songs that are special to you. Pre-made wedding CDs can be found at Target, Wal-Mart, or Party City. Some even carry songs specifically for the first dance of the bride and groom, the mother/son dance, and the father/daughter dance.

According to Kathleen Kennedy’s Priceless Weddings for Under $5,000, an open bar can cost as much as the food. Drinks cost $5 to $7 each, and if 100 people have just one drink, that comes to at least $500. To save money, provide a bottle of wine and champagne at each table, as Wade and Lauri Varierur from Orange County did. Kennedy suggests some other cost-saving alternatives: provide one glass of champagne for each guest for the toast only. Serve only beer and wine. Limit the amount of time for an open bar, or give each guest drink tickets. Stick to house-brand liquors and domestic wines. Or, instead of alcohol, provide an espresso bar. Regarding food, The Knot suggests Asian-inspired menus, which are healthy, tasty, and affordable. Also, try ethnic foods, such as Mexican, Italian, or Indian from a small neighborhood shop. You’ll be surprised how many of your favorite local restaurants cater.

For dessert, Phyllis Stone of the Fort Worth Star-Telegram recommends a buffet with treats from a local bakery instead of a cake. An ice cream sundae buffet is another alternative, though, if children are present, this may require supervision. If you still want a cake for tradition’s sake, have a small one- or two-layer cake made at a bakery, grocery store, or by a friend.