My mother called me from a shoe store describing a pair of beaded mules that she wanted to buy. As I visualized what she was relating, I told her that they sounded great. When she told me that she was going to get them in black, I said in a puzzled voice, “You don’t wear black. Why would you buy black shoes if you have nothing to wear with them?” My mom paused and thought about it. She realized that she was about to make a fashion mistake - buying something she loved, even though it had no function in her wardrobe.

But the ridiculousness didn’t stop there.

These beaded mules also came in gold. But she told me that she couldn’t think of anything to wear with gold beaded mules. So I started to offer her some suggestions. “Well Mom, you can wear gold shoes with brown” I said, since brown is her black. “But these gold shoes are so not me, should I buy them anyway?” she asked. There was a long silence on the phone while I rolled my eyes. Being the mother of an image and style consultant I was left wondering if this woman had learned anything. “Mom,” I said, “if you can’t see yourself wearing these gold mules with anything you own, and they are too outlandish for your style, why would you buy them?” She was relentless and started to come up with places that she could wear these shoes. As she grasped at straws for places to actually wear them she, acknowledged that these shoes weren’t for her. “I just want to buy something different” she said frustrated.

But wait - there is more absurdity to the story.

Following this realization, my mother said “You know, I really can’t walk well in mules. Remember the last pair I bought? I practically fell down wearing them!” I just stared into the phone dumbfounded. “Mom,” I said pointedly, “let me understand something. You are asking me if you should buy a pair of shoes that you know you won’t wear, in a style that you can’t wear. Are you kidding me?”

I share my mother’s common foible with you to illustrate a point. Clothing isn’t art; it can’t just be pretty to look at. The clothing that we buy not only has to be something that looks nice, it has to be functional.

What my mother was trying to do was break out of her fashion rut by embracing something she normally wouldn’t wear. There is nothing wrong with this; however, a common mistake people make when trying to break out of a rut is to swing the pendulum so far that their selections don’t function. What happens next? Because we find ourselves not wearing these non-functional pieces, we grudgingly go back to our “safe” ways of dressing, assuming that we are incapable of anything other than our boring original style.

Sound familiar? Here are some things to do the next time you want to make a successful style change:

#1 - Does it call to you?
The last time I needed new glasses, I stumbled onto tortoise frames which were a style departure from what I was accustomed to wearing but one I had been eyeing for some time. I remember being torn between them and a pair which were similar to what I had always purchased.

I wound up going with the tortoise frames and have been happy. What makes these frames different from my mom’s situation was that even though these frames were a stretch for me, I still liked them very much.

The next time you are trying to leave your style comfort zone, ask yourself if you are trying to make a change in your style for the sake of change, and not because the item calls to you. If you find that you want to buy something different but it feels more like an attempt to fix your current style rut than an expression of your style, don’t buy it.

#2 - Baby steps
We like quick, extreme changes. Think about weight loss. Instead of healthily embracing the process, we choose some fad diet that is supposed to get us to shed pounds in an unrealistic amount of time. We love instant gratification. Sure an extreme makeover can be fun, but it can also be detrimental.

I worked with a client who wanted to incorporate femininity into her wardrobe. Before meeting with me she purchased frilly items which were a stretch from her more tailored style. Every time she put these frilly pieces on, she felt like she was wearing someone else’s clothing, because these pieces just weren’t her— yet. When she hired me I encouraged her to, instead, start slowly by adding small feminine details to her more tailored outfits. This was an immediate and comfortable change for her. She is still a client of mine and when we met last she looked incredibly feminine. She had ditched the structured suits for softer skirts, her tops were feminine and she looked elegant and lady-like. It took time for her to embrace this feminine style, but she let the process happen naturally and comfortably.

If you want to make a style departure, take it slow. Make one small change at a time. Think about scuba divers who must ascend slowly after being deep under water so their bodies can adapt to the pressure change. Make gradual changes in your wardrobe so that you can adapt.

#3- Never settle
Returning to the phone conversation with my mother, had she bought the black beaded mules that she originally found, she would have worn them a handful of time, each time in ways that required effort. But she didn’t settle. Later, my mother shared what happened after we hung up the phone.

After deciding to let the beaded mules go,she found a pair of brown brocade flats that were a departure, but one she really loved and that she knew she would wear. She could incorporate these shoes into her wardrobe and loved the punch of style they offered.

See what happens when you don’t settle? Had my mom just bought the beaded mules, she would have never found the pair that she did. She didn’t even think to call me back when she found the pair she did buy. Even though it was a style departure, she knew that it was the right one. She didn’t need any validation, not even from me.

Bridgette Raes is the owner and president of Bridgette Raes Style Group, an image and style consulting company for women. www.bridgetteraes.com.